What is Remediation

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The word -remediation- is very important in the work my colleagues and I do with families affected by autism and other neuro-developmental disabilities, but it is a word that is unfamiliar to many people. I thought I would take a moment this week to talk about what remediation means in general, and specifically in the realm of autism.

Let’s start with some basic dictionary definitions:
Remediate (verb) – To remedy a problem
Remedial (adjective) – Intended to correct or improve one’s skill in a specific field; therapeutic, corrective, restorative
Remediation (noun) – Use of remedial methods to improve skills; the act or process of correcting a deficiency

Dr. Steven Gutstein’s definition of remediation: Correcting a deficit to the point where it no longer constitutes and obstacle

My definition: Work ON something, not just around it

Whether you are a parent or professional, it is critical to understand what remediation is, and the distinction between remediation and compensation. Perhaps the most common application of this distinction is in the area of reading problems. If a child is diagnosed with a reading disability, we typically apply remediation approaches to help them learn to read. At various points we may use compensations, such as books on tape, to support them. However, our goal is to remediate, or correct, the problem that is preventing them from reading so they can become functional readers. In my professional experience, I have yet to come across a situation where adults believe that if an 8 year old child is not yet reading, that we should just compensate for that and give them books on tape to listen to for the rest of their lives. Remedial efforts are taken to get to the root of the problem and overcome the issues that are preventing successful reading.

Now take this same concept and apply it to individuals on the autism spectrum. By definition they are struggling in many areas: socialization, communication, thinking flexibly, and the list goes on depending on the person. What approach do we usually take to these deficits? By and large, we take a compensation approach. We find ways to work around these problems so that the students fit into the mold of what we do at home and in school everyday. Our main motivation becomes applying strategies that help them exhibit what we consider to be -typical- behaviors -sit appropriately in the classroom or at church, learn academic skills, play on the playground equipment, wait in line without becoming upset, greet others when we see them, etc. While we may also look for ways to support their communication and to improve their relationships with others, we do this on a very surface level without really understanding the obstacles that create those problems in the first place. And, because we don’t really understand the root issues that create these problems, we resort to compensation techniques rather than remediating the root causes.

When you look at the history of treatments in the field of autism, it has been primarily about compensation. While research on the brain and autism has continued to move forward and provide us new information, our treatment approaches have stagnated. The methods we were using 30 years ago are still the methods being used today, despite the fact that we have a whole host of new information available to us. We now have the capacity to take what we know about the disorder of autism and how it impacts brain function, and develop new techniques and approaches that move beyond compensation and actually work to remediate (correct) the primary features of the disorder. This is one of the exciting things about newer approaches such as the Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) Program, which focuses on remediating, rather than just working around, the core deficits we see in individuals with autism and other neuro-developmental disorders.

It is time to move beyond thinking about treatment as merely capitalizing on strengths, and begin thinking about how to strengthen areas of weakness. Research has shown us that autism is primarily a disorder of connectivity in the brain-with some portions over connected and others under connected. What is so exciting about this is that we know that neural connectivity can change throughout the lifespan. The human brain has an enormous capacity for developing new connections and changing the patterns of connectivity when given the right types of stimulation. This is what allows us to look at autism treatment in a new light. It cannot be merely about strengthening the areas that are already strong. Effective education and treatment must be focused on building new connections in the areas where connectivity is deficient. This is the essence of remediation.

About the Author: Autism specialist Nicole Beurkens, founder and director of the Horizons Developmental Remediation Center, provides practical information and advice for families living with autism and other developmental disabilities. If you are ready to reduce your stress level, enrich your child’s development, and improve your family’s quality of life, get your FREE reports now at ==> www.HorizonsDRC.com

The Hardest Part of Any Auto Restoration Project

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Classic car restoration is not only about restoring a vehicle, it’s about restoring the times of a bygone era. For hobbyists that restore these cars, it’s a labor of love.

Now, you’ve found the perfect classic car, perfect model – it just needs a little work. But, where to begin? The hardest part of any auto restoration project is determining the scope of the project. Without clear cut goals and budgets at the beginning, you can easily find yourself in an endless and ongoing relationship with your automobile. Your money will rapidly transfer itself to your car, your time will disappear, and your automobile will never be quite finished – because you’ll always find some other slight imperfection to work on and “fix”.

There is no one right way to go about restoring a car. But good restorers do have common traits that separate them from the ones that never seem to finish their restoration jobs.

1. The ability to set realistic goals – No matter how long you take or how much money you spend, you will never be able to restore a classic car exactly to it’s state when it was originally brought to the market. Body paints are produced differently now than in the past so while you can easily get a color match, you will never get an exact paint ingredient match. Likewise, the formulations of finishing materials such as varnishes, enamels, and so on are no longer the same. And the same is true for many of the other classic car components. So you, as the restorer, have to set realistic goals as to exactly what parts of the car you are going to restore to their original states and what parts of the car you are willing to restore “as close as possible” to their original states.

2. Patience – It may sound paradoxical, but without patience, your chance of finishing your auto restoration are slim. You need patience because a major restoration job is seldom without problems. You discover the fuel gauge is not working and you have to scrounge around for a replacement. Or, the electrical system is suddenly becoming erratic and you lose two weeks time resolving the problem. Without patience, you may well decide to just give up and abandon the project or leave it until another day that never comes.

3. Love of Research – A good restorer, by necessity, has to be a good researcher as well. A car restorer spends much of his time not actively working on the auto, but finding what replacement parts are needed for his classic car and locating them. There are times when you will find yourself literally doing research for an entire day. If you don’t love research – or at least like it a lot – you can be sure of many miserable days ahead.

4. Good manual skills – This goes without saying but unless you love working with your hands and have some skills to speak of, you might just as well take your checkbook out and pay someone to restore the car for you, because you’ll never get it done yourself.

It seems as though the hobby of restoring classic cars is having a resurgence but before you decide to take the leap yourself and outfit your garage with installation tools, make sure you have the traits that will let you succeed at your new hobby.

How to Improve a Trouble Relationship

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Are you in a damaged relationship? Listed here are three principles that discovered, that have really helped me produce much better relationships in life:

1. The Universe is a representation of your self.

Each and every relationship is much like a reflection. Every thing within you is mirrored back thru your relationships. An effective way to discover more about your self is to start looking at the way you work with others. Have you been controlling, excessively critical, and envious of other people? Or perhaps you are accepting, adaptable, and joyful for other people?

Lesson: Rather than concentrating on what is wrong with another person, have a look at your self. Should you examine closely, you’ll discover that you have got most of the same defects you observe in other people. As soon as you have recognized your faults, acknowledge them with out judging your self. Consider brand new behavior that can establish you as the individual you would like to be and help develop the relationship you want.

2. It’s more useful to be joyful than to be “right”.

Deepak in no way recommend letting go of your beliefs or giving into something you believe is wrong, however quite often we’ve got the option to be either happy or “right”. When the concern is not significant to you, stop trying to protect your perspective and be content as an alternative.

Lesson: This is often a very difficult choice at times, but usually it is a no brainer. Does one truly want to win that argument? Does one actually need to agree with every thing? Acknowledge the reality that you simply are two special people with special viewpoints. Agreeing with everyone is extremely hard. Enjoy your dissimilarities in morals and ideals. Choose to put your relationship over the those dissimilarities. If the dilemma is too crucial for you to stop trying, in that case you need to create some type of bargain to obtain what you need.

3. If you need something, give it.

The easiest way to get what you need is to give it. Rather than expecting other people to give you what you need, give it to them and observe as it returns to you.

Lesson: You receive that which you give – very few words are more appropriate with regards to relationships. If you would like an apology, give an apology. The important thing is to give with out attachment. Meaning give the apology with out expecting an apology in return. I found that when I give a genuine apology, I generally receive one in return. This functions the in an identical way with forgiveness. Rather than informing them that they are forgiven, forgive them in your soul. When they observe that you have managed to move on, they’ll be much more likely to do exactly the same.

Restoring a relationship is tough. Things have been said or done that you might never overlook. Should you value the other person, then preserving the relationship is your number one priority. For those who have been attempting to save the relationship without good results, try out some of the ideas provided here. They may sound counter intuitive or illogical, but believe me, they are worth an attempt. These actions will pressure you to make some difficult decisions. As usual, meditate or pray when you are unsure of what you should do. If you need help with your relationships, check out Book Review: The Third Jesus for more info on a book that could really make a difference in your life.

Are You In A One-sided Relationship – Are You Still You After All This Time

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While some people can immediately identify a person with whom they would never be compatible, many suffer from low self-esteem and end up changing their own personalities, wants and actions to fit their partner. It is true that almost any successful relationship requires a certain amount of flexibility and compromise; but if a person is required to alter themselves greatly in order to maintain the relationship often something is wrong. The changes that occur in many of these cases can be so subtle and over such a great length of time, that often the people changing are unaware of how different they have become.
In order to understand how a person can be involved in such a relationship, it is important to remember that many of the people who experience this had a problem before the relationship began:

Insecurity: Many people in our society suffer from one form of insecurity or another; abnormal physical traits; lack of proper education; difficulty with communication and poor support network are just a few of the causes of such feelings. In order to have a strong enough sense of self that a person would never allow themselves to be overhauled by another person they must, for the most part, like who they are. The image that many people have of themselves is a very poor one and this makes it easy for others to prey upon their weakness. Unfortunately, in many cases, the addition of a stronger partner allows the more insecure person to hang all of their self esteem on the fact that their partner would have them; this is not a healthy way to depend on another person for support and in most cases will lead to disaster as it does not usually help to create strength and confidence.

Psychological Damage: A problem that often stems from an abusive relationship, a damaged psyche makes for an excellent weakness for others to prey on. We have heard this referenced many times in society by referring to the ugly duckling syndrome i.e. a person who once thought of them self as unattractive and became so used to dealing with this poor self image that when they became more attractive, by society’s standards, they did not act in the normal way an attractive person would. This by many people’s definition is an attractive person who retains a poor self image; therefore the person will have lower standards when it comes to dating. Many different types of trauma can cause a person to feel unworthy of attention and react in an unhealthy way when it received; this makes a perfect breeding ground for people who are looking for a person that they can control in a relationship; because they lack the self esteem to refuse.

Not all one-sided relationships are obvious or extreme, in fact more often the problems are numerous but very subtle. This can create an underlying feeling that something is wrong with the relationship, though many people struggle to understand exactly what that problem is. There are a few large and regular parts of relationships that are reoccurring and therefore when dominated can create an ongoing problem:

Where you live: In relationships where one person is dominant evidence of this imbalance can be seen in the home they share. The more dominant person will often choose everything from wall paint to major appliances; none of which seem to reflect the weaker person’s personality. To assume that dcor is an indication of such a relationship would not be completely accurate as in some cases one person does not have strong feelings about their belongings; however even those with little or no interest often have some reflection of their personality in their home.

What you do: Often in a one-sided relationship most or all of the activities the couple participates in revolve around one person. This allows for even greater destruction of the original, weaker partner and ultimately a great path to depression. Enduring this kind of change is difficult because not only does the weaker partner watch their own interests dissolve; but often they do not feel as close to the person they love as they cannot share their true desires with them.

Conversation: Whether you’re out with friends or staying at home in a relationship of this kind one partner rarely communicates what they are thinking or feeling. Often friends or relatives will notice when these changes occur because they can see a person retreating not just into themselves, but into their partner’s thoughts and feelings. Often the weaker partner will only speak when discussing issues that their partner finds interesting, giving up entirely on what they once find enjoyable or exciting.
If you have felt that any of these situations apply to your own relationship review this quick checklist to see some of the most typical points of view from those who observe this kind of behavior:

1.I always or often speak only about the things my partner is interested in.
2.I always or often only talk about my partner.
3.All or most of the things I do for fun I do with my partner.
4.All or most of things I do for fun are because of my partner.
5.If I look around my home I see little or no sign of my own taste.
6.When spending money on frivolous items they are usually for my partner.
7.My partner does most of the talking when we are together.
8.I do not often tell my partner how I feel.
9.My partner does not usually notice when something is bothering me.
10.My partner never or does not often compliment me.
11.I never feel happy/I only feel happy when my partner is giving me attention.
12.I have little or no interests outside of my relationship.
13.My partner does not often or never gives me gifts that are only for me.
14.My friends and/or family think that I have changed a lot since entering my relationship for the worse.
15.My other relationships have weakened since entering the one with my partner.
16.When asked what I want I usually look at my partner.
17.I no longer resemble who I was when I met my partner.
18.I tend to think of my partner before I ever think of myself.
19.I dress in the way my partner prefers even if I do not.
20.I no longer know what makes me, me.

If you find that any of these statements are true it might be a sign that either you need change your relationship, or you need to break it off. Enduring this kind of life is not healthy nor does it have much of a chance of making you happy. It is possible that your partner did not mean to become the dominant presence in your relationship and if brought to their attention they might be eager to help you become a stronger person. There are many different ways in which a person who finds themselves in this situation can change things, try to figure out what works best for you and take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Trust those who know you best: Outside of your relationship it is good to have at least one person with whom you can be honest and trust completely. Asking this person how they view your relationship and the changes that have occurred during the time you’ve been in it can be an excellent way to gain the insight required for change.

Perfection Reflection: Write down what you believe the basics are for an ideal relationship and see how they compare with your current one. Though no relationship is perfect and they often take a great deal of work, this should be equally divided amongst both people, not hoisted onto one.

Self Image: Begin an activity or project that has nothing to do with your partner, but is something that you are interested in. As this interest grows in something outside of your relationship you might find a little of the old you returns. Learn to like who you are and the wonderful qualities that make you unique; this may be difficult at first and might even require some changing (again,) but in the end you must be able to like yourself if you hope to remain who are.

Speak with your partner about how you feel: Whether or not you believe you can make your relationship work it is often helpful to tell your partner how you feel about the situation. Though you might not find the support you hoped for it is advisable to know where you partner stands on making you happy. Give your partner the opportunity to help you feel better about yourself and your relationship, or the very least know that they are a large part of how you ended up feeling the way that you do.

Without taking steps to reconstruct yourself in happier, healthier way you may never be able to enjoy life in or out of your relationship. Though it can be difficult to muster the courage to change your life, the knowledge that a happier you could exist might give you the strength need to take action. Good luck and much strength to all of you who are brave enough to take on the challenge.

Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From An Abusive Relationship

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You may have discovered that your ex girlfriend’s new relationship is an abusive one. You probably still want her back, but now more than ever you feel you have to rescue her. How can you get your ex girlfriend back from an abusive relationship that she is currently in? You probably feel bad the ex girlfriend that you still are in love with is not only with the wrong person but apparently in an abusive relationship. You know she doesn’t deserve that so you feel you have to do something to get her out of it, even if she doesn’t come back to you.

In your own heart you need to determine if it is more important to save her from the bad situation she is in or to get your ex girlfriend back. Make sure your motivation is not selfish as she really does need someone to rescue her. To her what will make the biggest impression is if she sees you have her interest in mind more so than your own. You shouldnt help her if you are only furthering your own interest. Hopefully you will see the good that needs to be done and that will be your driving force. However you try to help her you may also find out that she doesnt want to be helped. That is just something you may have to accept. Not every woman sees an abusive relationship as being something that is of great concerns to her. Some are even attracted to it in a strange way.

Saving your ex girlfriend from an unhappy relationship as well as one that may be life-threatening will make you somewhat of a hero in her eyes. Abused women sometimes fall back into that trap over and over, so she will need to know that you are her safe haven. Make yourself the person she can always depend on for safety and comfort. She will find it hard to stay away from you if she knows you are her safety net.

Let your ex girlfriend know that you are able to do a good job taking care of her. If you weren’t doing so well before let her know you are not the same person. Make sure you truly have changed though. To get your ex girlfriend back she will need to feel that you are the guy who will listen to her and be dependable. It might be hard for you to be that way and you may need to truly change.

You will need to build up your ex girlfriend’s self-esteem again. Her abusive boyfriend will have lowered her self-esteem which is how he kept her for so long. Hopefully you can make her feel special again which will make her want to get to know you all over again.

It will be important in this situation to keep your ex girlfriend’s safety in mind. Most abusive boyfriends are also the jealous type. If he sees you trying to take her away he may do something drastic enough to cause harm to her or even you. When an abuser feels like he is losing control he will use whatever means to get it back. So whatever you do to get your ex girlfriend back, always try to protect her from harm first.

Dont be afraid to help someone in need, especially your ex girlfriend that you still have feelings for. If she is in the abusive relationship too long it could even compromise her life. You may have some complications when getting involved in this situation, but if it turns out right she will want you back and you will get your ex girlfriend back.